Doctor of Strange

It’s been a strange and tiring collection of weeks. Tomorrow I’m going back to work. Even if they’re saying maybe I should take more time off, I’m saying DAMN THE MAN and going anyway, because dear LORD is doing nothing all day every day kind of boring.

I have to wake up for 9 a.m., however, which is pretty bad. I am terrible at waking up early. And people really can’t comprehend it. They’re all shocked when I explain that 11 a.m. is EARLY. They look at me like I’m lazy! Which I guess is true, but that’s totally unrelated to my sleeping habits. My body just naturally wants to sleep from like 5 a.m. until 2 p.m. There’s really nothing I can do about it!

I have tried hundreds of times to condition myself to sleep at normal times, but it never lasts for more than 3 or 4 days. I inevitably drift back to my old ways, staying up through the night looking up ghost pictures or reading the complete history of Image Comics or any number of inane things. Or watching an episode of E! True Hollywood story that seemingly will not end. This sort of sleep disorder is a confusing confounding maddening sort of thing and there are times when I absolutely want to smash the faces of the people who see absolutely nothing wrong with starting their day at 9 a.m.

I should apply for disability. It’s a disease that I have, not laziness! Except that I’m too lazy to apply for disability. And I’d probably have to wake up early to go to their offices or something and, man, fuck that noise.

Matt