Having it out with the rain
The funny thing about the muscle relaxants I am currently taking is that they combine rather musically with the smell coming from my neighbour’s room. Together they’ve put me in an indescrible sort of mood that has me smiling at myself in the mirror, trying to remember all the words to that “Hey Leonardo” song I hate so much and laying out a 50-part graphic novel about a Superman/Christ figure who travels through time and punches things. It’s part historical drama, part superhero book and part metafictional masturbatory mess. I think it has a lot of potential. Maybe one of my artist friends will draw it for me.
Nobody’s ever heard of anyone using the name ForeverMan before, have they? If not, it’s mine and you can’t have it. Unless you want to write something and then let me put my name on it. In which case, feel free.
I died last Tuesday. I’m sorry to everyone I was supposed to see and/or talk to. It was rather difficult to fulfill social commitments while dead. Thankfully the doctor gave me some medicines and now I am no longer dead. Nor am I undead. Though zombiedom does have its appeal. What with the only having to walk around and randomly attack the living. That’s a pretty stress-free life. Zombies aren’t forming corporations and getting all bogged down with politics or global affairs. They just walk around and attack people. I think we could all learn a lot from the zombie.
But I digress.
Schedule this week:
MONDAY: Oh I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. I have French but I already e-mailed my professor and told her I was dead, so I think she’ll be okay with me staying home and recouperating from my death. Maybe I will start the HOST essay. Maybe.
TUESDAY: Tuesday is now IRRATIONAL TUESDAY so I plan to spend a few hours spinning about on the library lawn and then going to Tim Horton’s and demanding they give me exactly 22 Chocolate timbits in individual coffee cups. Maybe I will start the HOST essay. Maybe.
WEDENSDAY: I always end up going to class on Wednesday so why break tradition? I think my French quiz is today so I have to go do that. I wonder what it’s on. Then I have to go to my Short Story class which is all right with me because I draw wicked cool pictures when I’m in that class. Maybe I will start the HOST essay. Maybe.
THURSDAY: Oh shit my HOST essay is due today. That is History of Science and Technology for you crazies who don’t know. Four Thousand words — that’s a lot! A number so large it can’t even be represented by conventional numbering systems. Or something. Hey, quick, tell me everything you know about Darwin.
FRIDAY: Oh Friday, day of days. I think I have a Literary Landmarks essay due today. Hey Caroline Gaston, you know it would be just phenomenal if you would bring the question sheet to our class on Wednesday. If not I may actually have to go to that class and I’d really hate to have that happen. Also at about 3 p.m. I have my FRENCH ORAL EXAM which involves memorizing some two minute dialogue doowhacky and then reciting it and getting an 8.5/10 or something to that effect. Wish me luck.
THE WEEKEND: Ed Harris movie marathon. Or maybe I’ll just watch that scene in THE ROCK where he is all dying and like “GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE?” because, haha, that’s great stuff. He’s dying and he’s sorry! Who WRITES this stuff? And then Sean Connery is all “YO NICK CAGE DO YOO KNOW WHERE YOR NAME COHMES FROM?” and Nick Cage is all “*blank stare*” and then Connery continues by saying “GODSPEED!” and then he gets away somehow and man, the whole movie really sucks, guys. I don’t know why I’m writing about it.
THE FUTURE: I’m going to retire. I just need to pull off one last big score and I’m set for life. I just hope I can trust this cocky young rookie who’s helping me on this one. And I hope I don’t fall in love and get distracted by a sultry young FBI agent or the wife of the guy I’m robbing or whatever. That would suck. But what are the odds of that happening?
TOP TEN SONGS EVER ACCORDING TO MY WINAMP
1. Bright Eyes - I’ll Be Your Friend
2. Bright Eyes - Black Comedy
3. Bright Eyes - Spring Cleaning
4. Eels - P.S. You Rock My World
5. Ben Folds Five - Brick
6. Neva Dinova - Get Back
7. Neva Dinova - Poison
8. Neva Dinova - Trapped in a Hole
9. Counting Crows - Goodnight Elizabeth
10. Eels - Climbing to the moon
My musical tastes are eclectic and varied. Geez, do you think I’ve listened to this enough? Sidenote: Someone please buy me this. I don’t own a record player and never will, but I think they’d look great on my wall.
Post on the damned forum or else.
Love always,
Matt
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ill buy it for you when i can afford a second one. as im getting it for myself the moment i have money. because god do i love vinyl. and bright eyes. and this has both.
if you’re wanting someone to draw a comic for you, i’ll do it. i’ve been meaning to write one for a long time but haven’t been able to come up with an original idea. i’d really like to be an drawer/inker/tracer…and kingston sucks the creativity right through my face so i’ve been artistically dry for about 7 months now…
Not if I draw the comic first! I have dibs about a month back too, (verbal agreement that such a thing was a good idea), as well as a longer friendship, if that matters. I have little to nothing to do this summer, so I also bet I could have it done first! Take that you who I only met once! you can do the cover, OK? Wonderful.
Since when do I merit FULL NAME status? That’s so strange. You are a strange boy.
You should also consider coming to Landmarks this weeks sometime. You don’t actually have to read Wylah Falls or anything (that’s just silly) but it would mean that I wouldn’t have to untape the questions from my wall and you could get them yourself ya lazy bastard.
I mean… I’m sorry to hear about your untimely demise.
hey, covers are cool
Whoa. And I thought I was spaced out after taking too much vicodin after my wisdom teeth were removed!
Artists, don’t fight. I have enough medication-inspired ideas to keep the both of you busy for the next year or two. I hope you like metafiction and fourth wall breaking, because it’s all I’m capable of writing!
Care, I have a weird habit of referring to people — mostly girls — by their full names all the time. Ask Kendall Hall. It’s weird and kind of creepy but nobody seems too bothered by it.
I’m going to try to get to Landmarks on Wednesday. I figure if I get there around 11:20, I’ll avoid the worst parts.
JWB, it’s not a bad deal for 7 vinyls, really. We’d be stupid NOT to get it!
Matt
She don’t care about my car
She don’t care about my money
And that’s real good because I don’t got alot to spend
But if I did it wouldn’t mean nothin’
She likes me for me
Not because I look like tyson beckford
With the charm of robert redford
Oozing out my ears
But what she sees
Are my faults and indecisions
My insecure conditions
And the tears upon the pillow that I shed
She don’t care about my big screen
Or my collection of dvd’s
Things like that just never mattered much to her
Plus she don’t watch to much t.v.
And she don’t care that I can fly her
To places she ain’t never been
But if she really wants to go
I think deep down she knows that
All she has to say is when
She likes me for me
Not because I hang with leonardo
Or that guy who played in ’fargo’
I think his name is steve
She’s the one for me
And I just can’t live without her
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I found her once again
And I’m so glad I found her once again
And I’m so glad I found her once again
Gazing at the ceiling
As we entertain our feelings in the dark
The things that we’re afraid of are gonna show us
What we’re made of in the end
She likes me for me
Not because I sing like pavarotti
Or because I am such a hottie
I like her for her
Not because she’s phat like cindy crawford
She has got so much to offer
Why does she waste all her time with me
There must be something there that I don’t see
She likes me for me
Not because I’m tough like dirty hairy
Make her laugh just like jim carrey
Unlike the cable guy
But what she sees
Is that I can’t live without her
My arms belong around her
And I’m so glad I found her once again
Found her once again
I’m so glad I found her once again
On again
- so there you go. that song represents a much simpler time in my life [sigh] -
In case that last post left you mystified, I must admit that I do not in fact have the charm of Robert Redford … and if I did I would give it back (ba da bing). I feel that “Blessed Union of Souls” and there treasure of a song has left us all wanting someone who will want us for who we are… not for our collection of dvds…
It was funny. I was walking downtown one night and I passed the Dandelion cafe on Coburg and there was that song just BLASTING out onto the street. Very surreal, but awesome as well because, honestly, who still plays one-hit-wonder songs from years ago?
Hey, wait, I have a pretty good collection of dvds — do you think that’s the only reason people want me?
Sad.
Don’t fret, old chum. You also have a digital camera
just be glad girls dont want you for the reason girls usually want me. for the massively large member.
sure its great at first, theyre telling everybody they want me for my massively large member and my ego gets all stoked. but then they find out that i do not have said massively large member and things kinda go downhill from there.
Kendall, I feel you should know that that song also brings me back to a much simpler time in my life. Oh how I love it. I have fond memories of listening to it on the way to high school basketball games. Others were busy being silly and high school-like, making friends with each other, and I was whispering, “Shhh, the song.”
You’re gonna have to find a new name, guy. I got this one on lockdown for about 5 years now.