If I could make it rain

I could just post random babblings every day from now until the end of May and you’d have no recourse but to keep visiting and LOVING it.

Here is an essay I have written about driving.

THE CAR
By Matt Elliott

Vroooom! The car has started and is on the road! The mighty automobile cannot be stopped by you! Its engine roars with impatient anger! “Oh no,” say the people on the road, “What is that sound? Is it a lion? A tiger? A wildebeast?” But soon they will see, as the car roars past them, carefully steering around them, that it is none of those things but rather a car! Cars are champions of the road! They are a technology that allows us to get from one place to another! They are a testament to human innovation, contraptions that allow us to break the limitations God has placed on our frail and fragile bodies. They infuse us with power that serves as a kick to the head of the divine. And they are shiny and go fast!

Keep in mind that this is a rough draft. Though I think that much should be clear because in the final product all the sentences would of course end with exclamation marks. It adds punch to any writing.

Here is a list of items no one store would ever sell.

THE LIST
By Matt Elliott

• Movie tickets
• Self-worth
• Diet Pepsi
• Crash Test Dummies
• E-mail Spam Filters
• Lightning Rods
• Patchwork quilts
• Life coaches
• Crash Test Dummies (The band)
• A bald man who refuses to use anything that has buttons of any kind

I feel bad for the guy who needs all these things because he’s going to have to make multiple stops!

I also have plans for a television series starring cats and evil men, but as I have to watch The Sopranos, that will have to wait until later. I hope this update has once again proven that not only am I good at writing paragraphs, I am also good at writing lists of things that could possibly go in paragraphs if I weren’t so lazy.

More later!
Matt