Jersey Girl

I’ve had to give myself a few days to digest this one. I should preface all of this by saying that I really do enjoy Kevin Smith. Despite his weak direction, I’ve always found him to be a tremendously adept writer, especially of dialogue and character, to the point where I would probably still put his third film, Chasing Amy on a list of my all time favourite films. I’ve followed his career since Mallrats. I own all the DVDs including the hilarious An Evening with Kevin Smith. I’ve read his comic-book runs on Daredevil AND Green Arrow and found them both to be very well done. I once ripped the very funny commentary track to the aforementioned Chasing Amy to a CD so I could listen to it in my car on a long road trip. I am THAT much of a fanboy.

But, dudes, Jersey Girl sucks.

I really really wanted to like it, too. Kevin Smith’s return to Chasing Amy-style dramatic work? How could it fail! As much as I enjoyed the fun-but-unambitious Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, I truly wanted Smith to return to the drama that he had done so well. And Jersey Girl was to be that big return. I followed his on-set diaries and the press while the film was in production, was disappointed at the numerous delays and continued to look forward to the film’s release.

You know when a friend you admire and respect draws a picture or writes a story or whatever and then gives it to you and asks you what you think about it? And even if you immediately hate it, you start looking for little things that you can point to and say “Hey, that’s still pretty good.” That’s what watching this movie was like. All through I kept looking for little one-liners or emotional moments that reminded me of Smith’s better work, so that I could take SOMETHING home from this film and say “Hey, I enjoyed that.”

But at about the sixteenth time some lame slow pop song kicked in and we cut to Ben Affleck staring sadly at something-or-other while thinking about his dead wife, I realized that there really wasn’t ANYTHING to like about this film. It’s poorly paced, badly acted and devoid of anything really funny. Worst of all, there is absolutely nothing new, unique, creative or innovative about it. The absolute best thing I could ever say about it is that it is, more than anything else, ordinary.

I think the PG-13 rating hurt quite a bit, but that was just one part of the bigger problem Smith ahd when making this film. I applaud his decision to try something DIFFERENT from what he did in his first five films, but the end result is a film and a script without any of his stylistic trademarks. The plot is completely braindead, the characters are painfully typical and the dialogue is flat and lifeless. Honestly, did anyone buy that supposedly inspirational scene where Affleck’s character talks to the town council as rousingly emotional music plays? It all comes off like Kevin Smith doing a Nora Ephron impression, and that’s just messy and painful to experience.

I don’t know why Smith decided to make a film in which he’d resist all his natural creative urges. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he’s honestly changed and this is the sort of film he’d like to make nowadays. I sincerely hope that’s not the case, as there’s no way I have any interest in seeing more films like this one. It was just a disappointment from beginning to end. My pal Rory O’Sullivan turned to me as we walked out of the theatre and said, “Matt, I’m worried about Kevin Smith.”

After watching this, I am too.