Presently Gifted

Everyone needs a passion. We all need goals to strive toward, like a runner strives towards the finishing line or a fisherman strives towards fish. I’ve had several passions in my day: Remote control cars, Lego, smashing lightbulbs with big sticks, Pilotwings 64, etc. But lately I have been rather passionless. While I still have goals, none of them are important enough to me to warrant calling them passions. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind graduating university or finding a job or meeting a woman or living past the age of 27, but, well, y’know, if those don’t pan out, so be it. I’ll shrug my shoulders and get a pizza.

Lately, however, I have uncovered a new passion. It’s been lurking inside me for a long time, but only recently has it come to the surface, filling me with a sense of PURPOSE. I finally have something in my life to BELIEVE in. And that something, ladies and gentlemen, is the DVD release of the 1990 film Quick Change.

The film marks the only directorial outing thus far from noted all-around awesome guy Bill Murray. And though the film is deeply flawed by a weak second-half and the inclusion of noted kinda-lame guys Randy Quaid and Geena Davis, it’s absolutely a timeless classic entirely due to the opening sequence. Picture if you will a fantastic bank robbery scene in which Bill Murray dresses up like a clown. He then stages a brilliantly planned heist all the while making inane demands of the police like asking for a bunch of helicopters and a monster truck and motorcycles. It’s genius!

The film also features noted dead-guy Jason Robards in a fantastic performance as a guy trying to catch Bill Murray and his crafty gang of half-wits! And there are some great scenes like the one where this guy is trying to get on a bus but can’t because he’s wearing his guitar on his back! Get it? He’s stupid! And also this part where Bill Murray is all “Oh sir! You forgot your map! And our millions of dollars!” and — you gotta trust me on this one — it’s pretty funny!

And the movie is NOT on DVD! Not even as a quickie no-frills release! The only way to get the movie is to buy the VHS (Which I, of course, have done!) and I really feel that VHS is too limited a format to hold a film of such magnitude.

In an attempt to right this wrong, I sent an e-mail to Warner Brothers, the production house behind the film. It is my hope that I will soon be able to spark a letter-writing campaign that will culminate with the film’s eventual release!

Hello,

I enjoy Warner Bros. products and have done so for years. I hope whoever is
reading this is having a great day and has numerous plans for the upcoming
Memorial Day weekend. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to release
the Bill Murray movie QUICK CHANGE on DVD sometime soon? It is really great!

Sincerely and hopefully,
Matt Elliott

The reponse given was, of course, some form letter saying essentially nothing. But they DO value my input with regards to their future releases! It is my sincere hope that if I continue to send in nicely-worded letters, perhaps under a myriad of fake names, the studio will have no choice but to release this movie on DVD! You can help too! Send your supportive e-mails to customerservice@wb.com! Other ways you can help include standing outside your house with a big cardboard sign that says “RELEASE QUICK CHANGE DVD!” or possibly driving around town honking your horn a lot because, man, nothing gets attention like a goddamned car horn.

Passionately,
Matt