Spider-Man 2
Oh my dear lord sweet Jesus in heaven.
I have been a long time fan of SPIDER-MAN for, well, a long time. I wouldn’t call myself a long-time fan if I had not been a fan for a long time as that would be a falsehood and if there’s one thing I hate in life it’s falsehoods! Regardless, I love SPIDER-MAN. I love Spider-Man so much that I am going to name my first-born daughter Parker. In fact, I did not even plan to ever HAVE a daughter until I came up with the idea of naming her Parker. I decided to have children solely on the basis of how cool it would be to name a kid in honour of Spider-Man.
However, despite this admitted bias, I think it’s safe to say that I can impartially declare director Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2 to be the greatest work of art ever produced by terrestrial man and may I also add that it is likely the greatest accomplishment ever seen in this universe, eclipsing both the invention of the printing press and the discovery of fire. Spider-Man 2 is less a movie than an experience that leaves one wondering how they ever made it through life before this film. Spider-Man 2 is an unstoppable, life-changing force, one we will all look back on in our sunset years as perhaps the key component in our post-adolescent development. Spider-Man 2 gives credence to the existence of God, for surely only the divine could craft something so magnificent, so potent, so pure.
I really fucking liked this movie.
There is not a lot I can say otherwise without SPOILING the utter majesty of it all. I have seen this film twice, once at midnight on the opening night and once a couple of days ago and both times were experiences equivalent to what women must feel on their wedding days. I laughed, I cried, I nerded the place up. I loved Tobey Maguire, I REALLY loved Alfred Molina, I tolerated Kirsten Dunst, I felt a strange attraction to James Franco, I left before they played that fucking Dashboard Confessional song over the credits. I want to take this movie home and have a serious and fulfilling life relationship with it. I want to see it again and again.
Go and see Spider-Man 2, or I will be sad.
Matt
Tags:comics movie review nerd reviews spider man spider man 2- Posted by Matt at 01:33 am
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Really? The teaser trailer looked like it was a parody of itself, it was that horrible. Still, your raving enthusiasm and Roger Ebert’s four-star review may influence any possible viewing of said film.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you just put down in that post Matt. I was at the midnight showing as well, which was full of pre-pubescence kids with their trucker hats and way too much cologne or perfume or whatever, but as soon as the movie started all that crap moved to the background. It had to be the most fun I’ve had at the movies, regardless of the sometimes absurd parts of the movie. And when those kids brought Spidey his mask back, I shed a little tear.
Mike, you are the best person I know.
There were a lot of crazies at the midnight showing. I was hoping someone would show up in a costume, but unfortunately all I got was a bunch of 15-year-olds talking very loudly about how Harry Potter is a ‘fag’. We had to stand in line for like a YEAR. But it was WORTH it because, man, it rules.
Jack, it’s a comic book movie. There’s a certain mentality that goes with that, wherein you have to accept that all of the science will be bullshit, there will be a lot of random coincidences in the plot, and sometimes the dialogue will swing a bit towards schmaltz, but all these things just add to the fun if you’re not expecting Fellini.
I think what makes this movie really much better than the first is that Raimi lets himself be far more expressive and stylistic. The operating room scene is straight out of Evil Dead, right down to the awesome chainsaw.
(Don’t worry, this is not a spoiler) Hey, did anyone else notice (and this may be the science nerd coming out in me) the time when all the metal is rushing to the “big ball of fusion”(over the harbour) seemed funny for one reason and one reason alone- The water didn’t really go along with any of the metal. This seems funny, because as we all know water molecules are polar (which is why we can bend a small stream of water from the tap with a magnet). It begs to reason that if the Molecules in the metal(much heavier) can be pulled by the reaction, then the water should go too.
Yes, out of all the things in the movie, this is what I found improbable…
Well, lads, it seems that I’ll have to go soon, then, don’t I? I was working the last few nights, and now it’s weekend prices… but perhaps tomorrow I will finally get to go and enjoy the majesty that is this movie.
Oh, and James Franco is indeed a McHottipants, especially in the James Dean biopic. But he’s not why I’m going, I promise.
Also, I’ve seen Tobey Maguire’s house now, and that makes everything funnier.
PS: Harry is not a fag!
PPS: Unless you’re reading yaoi, in which case, OH YES.
James Franco as James Dean? I’d hit it.
This movie made me wish I could swing, swing from the buildings, and fly, fly through the air. Maybe I will join the circus.
By the by, yes, it is great, and anyone who hates it probably also hates Christmas. Bastards.
Matt-
I saw this movie today and I fucking loved it and as I was fucking loving it I was thinking about how much you and another friend of mine would probably fucking love the movie, man, I fucking loved it. Tobey Maguire was always a perfect choice for Peter Parker and just about everything else fit perfectly, perfectly, perfectly. It looks like we’re moving into a new era in the character’s development - if last time was all the origin stuff, this one was about the classic split between fun as the superhero and an absurdly difficult life as Peter Parker, and now at the end they’ve gone and given him stuff that he wanted, so I’m glad that they got that dynamic right in this second movie and that they go new places in the next one.
And man! Alfred Molina was great! All the villian stuff was much improved this time around.
And the theme song and everything! Lots of iconic images, strong characterizations, I laughed, etc, etc.
There’s a chance that I fucking loved this movie.