TBT #18: Five Things You Should Do

I lost all my ability to create fiction. All I have left is a meandering character sketch about a girl who continuously says “It was okay. Not the best thing in the world.” It’s not something I want to share with you here. So in substitution, please enjoy this list of things you should do!

It’s a list of the Best Things Ever for November 26, 2004.

Read Grant Morrison’s We3

Yes, it’s a comic book. You know how I feel about books with pictures.

Regardless, this is a very, very good comic book. Morrison has done amazing stuff in the past — Animal Man is solely responsible for my fascination with fourth wall breaking, and his runs on JLA and New X-Men are brilliant — his latest collaboration with his New X-Men artist Frank Quitely may be his best work ever. Only 2 issues of the 3 issue miniseries has been released, but so far We3 holds distinction as the best comic book I’ve read this year.

The premise is kind of like Homeward Bound meets Robocop. We3 — short for ‘Weapon 3′ — is a top secret government program which has turned ordinary household pets — in this case a dog, a cat and a bunny rabbit — into killing machines. The robo-animals possess limited intelligence — including the ability to speak — and massive firepower. When the government tries to shutdown the program, the three pets escape. The series follows them as they try to find a home that doesn’t exist, while a bunch of scary government guys chase them everywhere.

Maybe it’s just because I have a soft spot for pets, but I found this all just heartbreaking. It doesn’t hurt that there are pages like the one below, which just kill me. We3 holds distinction as one of the few graphic novels to nearly drive me to tears. Fuck, man, there’s something about a sad dog, you know?

Watch David O. Russell’s I Heart Huckabees

I’ve had a love/hate relationship with David O. Russell since I learned that he and George Clooney — my perpetual heterosexual mancrush — got into a fight on the set of Three Kings. While I loved the film, I really don’t like to see anyone giving any trouble to my close good friend George Clooney.

So I didn’t really want to like Russell’s latest movie — I wasn’t even planning on seeing it, given its generally average reviews and a premise that sounded, well, kind of stupid. But there’s no doubt about it: Huckabees is a brilliant film. It’s a funny, compelling and thoughtful film that, quite frankly, surprised the hell out of me.

Mark Whalberg — seriously — is the film’s hightlight. His portrayal of a clinically depressed, envrionmentalist firefighter — one of the more creative character concepts to come out of Hollywood in quite some time — is nothing short of genius. While Jude Law, Dustin Hoffman and the rest of the cast do great jobs too, I could watch a whole movie just about Whalberg’s character — it’s THAT good.

I think the movie resonated with me because it is, more than anything else, a work with the ultimate message: Hey, don’t think so much about life. That’s an awesome message, and one I’ve been trying to live my life by this year.

Listen to The Dresden Dolls

I don’t generally like all-girl acts. It’s not a concious decision. It’s just that all-girl groups generally sing about things that don’t interest me. They’re either far too happy for my angsty twentysomething style of life, or they just sing a whole lot about rape. Which isn’t something I can really relate to.

But The Dresden Dolls’ first self-titled album is pretty great, all in all. I don’t really know a lot about the band and downloaded their disc at a whim, but I’ve been really impressed. They’re a perfect blend of non-emo angst, quality lyrics and, yes, some piano. Also they swear a lot, which I enjoy in a woman.

My favourite track is The Jeep Song which you can download online somewhere, I’m sure. It’s worth it!

Watch The Incredibles

I know everyone is pretty tired of reading articles praising this film, all titled “That’s Incredible!” or something lame like that. But I can’t go on without saying it: this movie is amazing. It is great beyond words, combining about seventeen different aspects of greatness to form some sort of great big ball of great that rolls down giant spectacular hills and over phenomenal houses crushing millions of absolutely brilliant people.

I’ve seen it twice now. The first time was with GraphicMatt.com contributor Pearle Tuason to whom I remarked, after seeing it, “That’s the movie I always wanted them to make when I was kid.” Since then, that phrase has become my quick review, offered to anyone who asks about the film. Because it is exactly the kind of film I wanted them to make as a kid.

I want to watch this movie again and again, and so should you. And also watch The Iron Giant while you’re at it, because it will make you cry with a simple word (”Superman…”).

Relax About Politics

When George W. Bush was re-elected three weeks ago, the blog part of the internet lit up with a bunch of “Oh god what are we going to do!” sort of messages. All the Americans claimed that they were moving to Canada, while all the Canadians claimed they were going to beat up the Americans. It was chaos. There was almost a sense of abject PANIC coming from these people.

So, as a blogger of sorts, I guess I owe the internet my reaction to the presidential election. And here it is: Eh, whatever. And I don’t want people to assume from that that I’m not into politics. I AM into politics. I’m so into politics that I’ve been known to get into debates with people who run neo-fascist right-wing politically disgusting websites. And maybe it’s my interest in politics that has led me to understand something, which I think a lot of people are missing: The world is not going to end because George W. Bush is President.

I don’t like Bush. I think his performance as President is comparable to schlubs like Coolidge or Harding. The ill-conceived War on Terror has been reduced to a joke with all its resources diverted into Bush’s absolutely bizarre Iraq adventure. He’s spent more than any President ever, making a mockery of the sort of conservative values he claimed to stand for. And his pandering to the religious right is beyond alarming.

But, still, relax. Four years is a drop in the bucket as far as history is concerned. And eight years isn’t a much bigger drop. The left-wing — of which I consider myself a part — has apparently decided that would-be president Kerry would be this massively pro-environment championing of gay rights when, in reality, he probably would have done very little. America’s domestic and foreign policies would have shifted a few degrees to the left. Most things would be the same, and those of you pissed off at Bush would probably still be, mostly, pissed off.

So, seriously. Take five minutes. Relax. Realize that you’ll always hate the American President — except maybe for Michael Douglas in that awesome movie — and that American politics will always seem bizarrely right-wing to us Canadian socialists. The world will still turn.

Do all of these things and your life will be great and you will fall in love with a big-breasted woman and live under a rainbow made of skittles.

This I promise you,
Matt