The saddest sound I ever heard

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So I am supposed to be at some lecture about children raised by wolves right now. I was actually sort of looking forward to it, as what I don’t know about children raised by wolves could actually fill a surprisingly large canyon. Unfortunately I have been, as always, slacking off really badly for the past while, and as such felt it was my honourbound duty to stay home and convince myself to work. Of course that didn’t really happen, but it was a noble goal nonetheless, and I feel that my imaginary tales of wolfchildren will always be far more amusing to me than factual stories.

I watched “Intolerable Cruelty” again this afternoon. I actually bought it, along with “Solaris”, for very little money from Blockbuster the other day. This now means I own a whole lot of George Clooney movies, but I still maintain that I do not have any sort of ‘mancrush’ and merely see him as an actor who has been in a lot of good movies.

Anyway, “Intolerable Cruelty” was just hugely underrated when it came out last year. Yeah, it’s not as good as Fargo or Raising Arizona or anything, but it’s really really funny and features some great plot twists. I recommend it, especially if you’re able to buy it for under $10 like I did.

“Solaris” is up next. It wasn’t exactly critically acclaimed, but I have heard some good things from a bunch of people. And I’m a bit of a Steven Soderbergh junkie, so I’m sure I’ll find SOMETHING to like about it.

Do you ever get in the shower, wash your hair, then go about your soaping and whatnot, only to completely forget that you washed your hair? And you’re standing there staring as the shampoo bottle thinking, “Wait, didn’t I already use you?” This happens to me every single day, and it’s not from being overtired or anything, as I generally take my showers in the afternoon, but still, it’s like a certain brand of amnesia that only happens in the shower. How bizarre is that?

The year is almost over now. It’s amazing how fast it has gone. In a lot of ways, I’m looking forward to going home. I think if this year has taught me anything it’s that I am not a very good student, nor do I particularly enjoy being a student on a very basic level. I know damn well that I am capable of succeeding in an academic environment, but I see very little reason to try. At least at home I have a job I really enjoy and do take pride in, even if I do surf the net a bit too much at work. I’ve really missed having work to do that I care about it, so in that regard it will be great to get out of here and head back to Oakville.

On the other side of things, going home is always a bit like regressing. Suddenly I’m creeping around the house at night, trying to avoid making too much noise. Without warning, I magically lose all my ability to cook my own food, and end up waiting around for hours for my mother to get home to make dinner. Whereas at school I’ve actually gone as far as buying PINE SOL in my desire to keep my room clean, at home I’m as apathetic as can be when it comes to picking up my dishes and making my bed. It’s always a hard adjustment to make, going back home, and I’m not really looing forward to having to make it again.

But more than anything else, what I will lament most about going back home for the summer, is the sense of adventure that being at university brings. Yeah, I hate all my classes and sometimes find myself knee-deep in social drama, but only here, being completely free and independent, do I find myself feeling like every week could bring something really amazing to my life.

There’s so much possibility in every Friday night that lasts for two days, in every sunrise seen without sleep, in every first note of every stupid dance song, and in every quick glance or shy smile. These things often don’t lead to anything at all, but that there’s the possibility of something new coming my way is essentially that which drives me to get up every day. At home, things are typical, they’re controlled, they’re routine and, often, sadly, they’re just lonely. I miss the new when I’m there.

Listen to “Bright Eyes - Black Comedy” if you can find it. It’s awesome.

More later,
Matt