Kings: Our Princess in Another Castle

You’ve all seen the teaser, now is the time for the main event. Halloween has always been one of my favourite times of year at King’s. In first year, it was all about Mike Stacey vacuumng and whatever this was all about. Second year saw Rory in cat ears and cowboy clowns. Last year things were taken up a notch with a “Wet Hot American Summer” tribute and Confused Doctor Bryan. But this year, I think, we really outdid ourselves. Never before have I spent so much time on a Halloween costume, but surely it was necessary work. This was my last Halloween at King’s and I’m glad to say it was monumental. So much so that it is hard to find words. They should have sent a poet. But since they did not, I think I will post this because I think it says more than metaphors and similes or any such thing ever could:

Pre-Planning

Group costumes like this don’t just come together overnight. The picture you see above was the result of literally months of planning, beginning with the time in September when Bryan noticed that he was much shorter than Mike. Inspiration struck him like a wrecking ball. “Hey,” he said, “You could be Luigi and I could be Mario.” Mike, of course, agreed to this because that’s what Mike does: he agrees to things. The decision was fueled largely by the fact that we can still not stop playing Mario Kart. As a household, I would say we play Mario Kart at minimum 4 times a week. At most it is a daily occurrence. This has been going on for over 2 years. It’s sick.

Danielle, Kristine and I, not wanting to be left out, set out to look for Mario-themed costumes that would complement the brotherly plumbers. A quick google search for “Mario cosplay” wielded many possibilities, however our planning was quickly derailed when Danielle decided instead to search for pictures of dogs wearing costumes. While this was undoubtedly hilarious, the clock was ticking and we needed to make a decision!

In the end, our respective costumes sort of just happened. I find it particularly hard to explain my own costume choice, except to say that it wasn’t really my choice. At first I wanted to be Wario, but then quickly realized that finding pink-purple overalls would be a challenge. And also that I would have to gain weight and while gaining weight for a role might be fine for De Niro, it’s not really suitable for a university Halloween party.

So my die was cast and we got to work. And when I say that what I actually mean is that Danielle got to work and gave us all tasks. There is absolutely no way this project would have come together without the efforts of Danielle Wright. So impressed I am by her costume-making abilities that I would very much like it if someone would employ her professionally in some sort of costume-making capacity. Please let me know if you are interested!

The costumes were finished on Halloween Day, with just hours to go before the Ward Room’s Halloween Party. There was much jumping around, shoe-wrapping and a rather painful stretch where I jabbed myself with a yellow paint marker for a solid half hour, but in the end we had all made a complete transformation into denizens of the Mushroom Kingdom. We did not merely look like the Mario Bros. gang — we had become the Mario Bros. gang.

The Cast of Characters

• Bryan Mrezar as Mario Mario the lovable plumber and star of over ONE HUNDRED videogames spanning a 20-year-career. And, yes, ladies, that’s a real mustache. Mario spent much of his time in character running about, jumping at things, and giving jaunty winks. Just like the real Mario!
• Mike Weir as Luigi Mario. While Mike’s facial hair is as real as Bryan’s, he refused to sport the mustache as Bryan did. Instead, he worked with a stunt ’stache made from pipe cleaners. While it effectively conveyed the illusion of a mustache, it also required Mike to make weird facial expressions to hold it in place. As a result Luigi, the eternal understudy, kind of looks like a very tired bearded man who would very much like to give you a kiss.
• Danielle Wright as Toad. While there was talk of Danielle going as Toadette, Toad’s newly introduced lady-friend, the feeling was that Toad was feminine enough to be played by a girl. Danielle’s headpiece was made from paper and weighed roughly a hundred pounds, so Toad was quite a trooper. Both because of the that and also because Toad spent much of the night getting felt up by a Lecherous Luigi.
• Matt Elliott as ParaTroopa. I really had no idea what I was getting into until I actually put on this costume. It required A LOT of preparation, as turning a shopping bag into a turtle shell is far more work than you would expect. The wings were a long-debated addition, as finding actual ParaTroopa wings proved impossible and thus I was saddled with fairy wings. To some people I probably resembled the twisted bastard child of Leonardo and Tinkerbell — a kind of fairy turtle –, but for a while, I looked cool.
• Kristine Kozicki as Daisy. While Daisy is generally the forgotten Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, resigned to the Game Boy series, bit parts in the sports and racing games and the major motion picture, Kristine felt a kinship with the princess whose ideals are better suited to a person of Kristine’s tastes. Also, Kristine has brown hair and so does Daisy so it was really a natural fit. After getting dressed by her loyal servant, Toad, Daisy brushed her teeth with Mario, the kind of behind-the-scenes moment you never see in the actual game!

The Adventure That Night

After spending so much time getting in costume, we were all kind of tired and ready for bed. But bed was a long way aways, because we needed to party! But first, we needed to go to the bank where some guy working the InfoDesk kept asking us where our go-karts were! The Ward Room held several revelations, as I learned just how ridiculous a Paratroopa drinking beer would look. We also ran into another Mario and Luigi one of whom seemed very interested in stealing our Toad. Thankfully we were able to ward them off by taking a group photo.

The rest of the night saw Luigi continue to grow more and more perverted, shocking Toad with obscene suggestions illustrated with his hands. We ran into Katie Creelman and Sarah Kromkamp who went as a crayons, a character last seen in Mario Paint. Somewhere along the line we also ran into a Princess Toadstool who clearly wanted a piece of our Mario.

Before I knew it, Daisy had grown a mustache. And then Toad did! Then this beer bottle did! It was a mustache epidemic! As perverted Luigi started to eat Toad’s head, I somehow injured myself and bled everywhere. But it’s okay because I had a mustache too!

I spent the remainder of the night easing into my birthday by hanging out with the Incredibles who were blurry. I may have talked to them at length about my feeling that I am probably the greatest writer and human being in Halifax. I get incredibly egotistical when I am drinking on my birthday while dressed as a turtle.

As it got late, we made it home to a no-longer Toad and Luigi, who was wearing no pants. What followed was about a hundred pictures of Bryan’s mustache, many of which I have opted not to post just because there is only so much of Bryan’s mustache that any of us can take. We all sat around with faint paint on and ate oven fries and looked at the giant mess that was our kitchen.

And Halloween was over!

But wait, there is one more thing.

Mike Weir’s Directorial Debut

Because I opted not to post every single picture of Bryan’s mustache, I thought I would make up for it with this wonderful documentary short filmed by Mike Weir. Tackling the subject of mustaches from the Victoria Era to modern times, Mike narrates a stunningly inspirational piece that shows us just how serious upper-lip facial hair can be.

Right click -> Save As to download the video (2.2 MB)

Enjoy!

Matt