Kings: Take This Crow and Split

What a terrible headline. I mean, my god, I’ve written some bad headlines in my day (”Charity Event Enjoyed By All”) but still — man, that’s terrible.

Okay.

What I have here is the long-awaited follow-up to the video that was posted below. Apparently I overestimated the appeal said video would have with you, the readers. Whereas I find the idea of a bunch of drunken university students sitting around and singing Matchbox Twenty’s “3 a.m.” to be hilarious, such is not the case with the rest of you. You find such things boring! And badly lit! And the sound quality is terrible! But that’s okay; I don’t mind. We don’t ALWAYS have to agree, do we? You and me, we’re still friends. And even if you didn’t go for the video, maybe you will like these pictures. Sure, they come from the same night, but they’re much more static! And brightly lit! And, well… I don’t know.

I guess you will have to see for yourself.

Some Highlights

• These pictures may be a bit out of order, as once again the wonderful and illustrious Sarah Jones has sent me her pictures. In addition to being taken with a much better digital camera, they were also taken at different parts of the night than were my pictures and trying to bring the two sets of pictures together to form a cohesive narrative for what was, in essence, your standard night of drinking would be a nightmare. So I’m not going to do it!
• It’s mostly just pictures of people sitting around a table anyway.
• For those who have figured it out yet (or for those who don’t live in Halifax (or for those who do live in Halifax but don’t go to such places as ‘bars’)), these pictures were all taken at the city’s famed Split Crow Bar. Known for its awesome cover bands and relatively cheap drinks, the Split Crow has been the subject of some other picture sets that I would find for you if I did not have a headache right now. Check the photos page! You can find them yourself! It will be like a scavenger hunt!
• People often accuse me of being a jerk. And while it is true that sometimes I post bad pictures of people, let it never be said that I don’t post bad pictures of myself. I have no idea what Rory and I are doing in this picture and, honestly, the more I think about it, the less I DO want to know.
• And again! MORE bad pictures of me!I swear, I need to do something about my eyebrows or one day I will wake up to find they are cocoons. And, later, moths. They will fly away and I will be sad.
• I like this one because it’s like “Hey Everyone! Check Erin out!” and she’s like “Oh god stop embarrassing me!” And then in this one she’s like “Well, he’s still a dork, but if I smile maybe he’ll take his hand off me.” I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the ladies love the way I roll.
• So here’s the way these pictures work: We all sat around and drank. And talked! And laughed! And… flashed gang signs. There’s not a whole lot to say, really.
• Seriously, there is not. Like this picture. It’s nice and all. It makes me think about how Bryan, Erin and myself could have a pretty cool Three’s Company-esque sitcom going some day. But what can I say about it? Nothing. What a terrible day to be me.
• I do like this one because it kind of looks like Rory and — who is that? — Kristine(?) are having a staring contest and that is pretty funny. But not really funny. Just pretty funny.
• The night got a little more lively when Kristine started with the headbanging and Bryan recoiled in disgust
• And then Rory started to talk about something. I can’t remember what it was. Really. I can’t! Don’t try and remind me! Because I don’t remember. And, you know, you don’t either. None of us do.
• Erin: “Hey, check out my biceps!” Matt: “Okay!” Kristine: “*impressed sound*” Bryan: “As a narcissist, I need to be in this photo!”
• Jesus Christ, apparently the debate we were having just looks like a staring contest when put to film. Look, more staring! It’s like we had a tournament or something.
• But we didn’t, you know. We did not. We just danced. Or, rather, Kristine and Erin danced while Rory grinned and Sarah hid and I posed for yet another awful picture.
• Everything culminates with this picture which, I think, is perhaps the greatest picture taken this past year. And perhaps the greatest picture ever posted on this site. Surpassing that one about Lex Luthor stealing cakes. It is THAT good. Look at it! She has fallen in love with the dance! God is a DJ! Love is a dance floor! And Kristine? An angel of some kind. That’s right; I’ll say it. She’s an angel. Of some kind.

The rest of the pictures are here and I truly hope you enjoy viewing them more than you enjoyed reading my lame-ass commentary. I’ll be back later with pictures chronicling my final few days in Halifax. I am in FOURTH YEAR now, guys! How messed up is THAT? Two or three more years and I’ll be a university graduate!

Realistic,
Matt