Kings: The Sun Goes Down and the World Goes Dancing

Hey, we are back at school. And you know what that means? It means pictures, mostly! It also means other things like, well, academia and exams and hilarious pranks, I guess. I hope there are hilarious pranks, anyway. We’re due for some. In any case, even though there have not been any hilarious pranks thus far this year, I thought it time to post the pictures I have taken so far, if only because this weekend we are having a gigantic party second only to that party the Bayside gang had at Screech’s house when his mom was out of town. Only we’re not going to knock over any Elvis busts at OUR party.

These pictures are largely made-up of what I will refer to as a VIRTUAL TOUR of our new house. I call it that because, as we are in the twenty-first century, everything good is now virtual. And also because you will not be actually going on a tour of our new house — that would be ridiculous; there are hundreds of thousands of you! — but rather you will be experiencing it through a series of hastily-taken photographs accompanied by captions written in this kind of faux-enthusiastic extremely-grating tone I’ve developed.

There are also pictures of people sitting around a table and drinking, in the grand tradition of a zillion other photo sets on this site that have involved people sitting around a table and drinking.

Henry Street: Virtual Tour 2000

Because things sound futuristic when suffixed by “2000″!

• This is our kitchen, circa a couple of weeks ago. This is actually not part of the tour. I am sorry for misleading you. I took this picture because future Usher-at-my-wedding Bryan Mrezar made me a “Welcome Back” cake. It was made from chocolate and tireless work! It was good. Also pictured: Mike, the sunflower used in the opening of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze.
• Okay, tour time! We start at the back of our house because this ain’t your conventional tour. We mostly use the back door because we hate following convention and also that is where we keep our shoes. But mostly the convention thing; we are rebels! If you continue up the short flight of stairs to the porch, you can see our front door and also a glimpse of the douchebag GHOST who haunts our new apartment, wearing American Eagle shirts and taking pictures of things while holding the camera like a lame-o!
• We are on the top floor! Not since my time in residence has my day-to-day life involved so many stairs. These are the back stairs which lead to the pictured hooks and the top of the stairs and also the fertile crescent that is our kitchen.
• But before we get there, let’s take a look at our porch which gives us a birds-eye view of Halifax, but only a low-flying bird. Or maybe a flightless bird. We are only two stories up. It is kind of like the view a dolphin would see if he jumped out of the first floor, if the first floor was a pool and not, well, not a pool. If you can understand what I am saying. It is a nice porch.
• Here is the kitchen! Not pictured: the rest of the kitchen. There are more cupboards and also some chairs and some garbage cans, but you will just have to use your imagination.
• Turning right in the kitchen will take you to the hallway which is, in entire literal truth, very very long. Like bowling-alley long. If we were old ladies who had trouble walking long distances, we would need to place a small bench at the mid-way point between the kitchen and the living room. For resting. Bryan’s is the first door (not pictured), followed by the bathroom, my room, a closet, Mike’s room, and a bunch of other MYSTERY DOORS that I have probably never opened for fear that they lead into a parallel universe where some ugly bitch will give me turkish delight and then try to get me to kill a lion.
• Here is Bryan’s room. Please make special note of his picture that I think is of a beach or something. There might even be a lighthouse. And this is the bathroom! Which is a marked improvement over our old bathroom which kind of developed carpeted floors independently. It almost gained sentience.
• Following my stupid cow sign will take you into my room which features a chair and a TV and a very tiny dresser that will break some day! And also a bookshelf! And my best friend, the couch!
• Mike’s room was an empty desolate wasteland when I took this but it has since been upgraded thanks to the efforts of one Heather Weir. He has accent pillows now! And rugs. It all matches in a wondrous colour scheme that says, unquestionably, “my mom decorated my room”. It’s great. At the end of our giant hallway is our living room. In our living room, Bryan plays videogames. Manly videogames like MADDEN 2006 and, uh, that one with the blood and stuff. Here is another view into our living room. And another!
• Finally, here is the view out the front door onto Henry Street which is a wonderful street full of young children who play Street Hockey, the kickingest high school rock band you ever did hear and a bunch of adults who eye us suspiciously.
• There are more pictures, such as this one of ducks or this one of our pantry or this one of our washer/dryer but, honestly, what is there to say about any of them? I mean, I could make fun of Bryan for the duck picture but, then, he made me a cake. So that would just be fowl.

People sitting and standing around: The Highlights

• Here we see Rory O’Sullivan, looking more grizzled every year. He spent the past summer trying to solve the anti-life equation by killing a bunch of mice.
• Last Friday, Katie Creelman celebrated her birthday, and a bunch of us set out for the T-Room, so we could attempt to win trivia but then be inevitably distracted by the cheap drinks and free popcorn. Here we see James, Katie and Erin looking confused because my camera’s flash was set to REALLY GODDAMN BRIGHT mode. Also pictured: Part of Caroline.
• This picture is great because Christina is very drunk. Pictured: Most of Caroline.
• Someone asked to take a picture with my camera and apparently caught some sort of pyrotechnic display.
• And, after that brief interlude, we are back where we started sitting around and preparing food. I think these pictures are deceiving. We do not spend ALL of our time sitting around and preparing food. If I had to put a percentage on it, I’d say we only spend 94% of our time doing that. That still leaves a big 6% for watching television and worrying about our futures.
• All these pictures are from a little get together we had last Saturday. It was more fun than this picture would indicate. And not as disgusting as this picture would indicate. This is probably a good indication. Or this. But definitely not this.

The rest of the pictures are here.

Danielle Wright Danielle Wright Danielle Wright

As our former roommate (and still roommate of our hearts) Danielle Wright was lamenting the fact that she, Danielle Wright, did not find any results for herself, Danielle Wright, when googling her name, “Danielle Wright”, I thought it only fair to use my internet powers to remedy Danielle Wright’s problem. Hopefully now when Danielle Wright searches google for “Danielle Wright” she, Danielle Wright, will find the results she is looking for. That is to say, Danielle Wright will return lots of hits for Danielle Wright when searching for Danielle Wright.

In conclusion, click here to download Danielle Wright’s polished rendition of Don’t Look Back in Anger by Oasis.

That should do it,
Matt