TBT #24: Really Doesn’t Matter

I have this painfully long dream where I’m young again and I’m sitting in front of an enormous 1980s computer that sounds like a vacuum cleaner. And I’m playing some old flight simulator game with blocky graphics and bleep-boop-beep sound effects. The box made it look amazing. But, there I am, sitting in front of the computer, staring at a pixelated runway, unable to figure out which key makes the plane take off. No matter what I try, nothing works.

These are the Best Things Ever for January 9th, 2005.

Can’t think of a reason to stop dancing

Hey, you stupid motherfuckers — and by ’stupid motherfuckers’ I mean ‘gentle readers’ — this is going to be another random thoughts edition of THE BEST THINGS because it’s 4 a.m. and I’m flying back to Halifax in less than twelve hours and this keyboard kind of really sucks — I’m on my family’s desktop for some reason — so I don’t want to use it for very long. Also I am devoting most of my energy towards NEXT WEEK and the special ALL-STAR 25th issue ANNIVERSARY edition of ‘The Best Things’.

Wait, no I’m not. And you know WHY? Because there’s no such thing as a ‘25th issue anniversary’. Nor is there such a thing as a ’six month anniversary’ for that matter. Anniversary means ANNUAL! I am filled with English major rage every time I see it applied incorrectly. Then I remember I’m no longer an English major and relax a little. Such is life.

The Film Around the Drain

I’m still going to do a “Top 10 of 2004″ list but it’ll be late this year, as Oscar screener piracy isn’t what it used to be! So far I’ve seen “Hotel Rwanda”, “The Life Aquatic”, “Maria Full of Grace”, “In Good Company” and “Kinsey.” I don’t want to make any sort of list before I see “Million Dollar Baby” and “Sideways’ though, so I’m waiting for that. Hurry up, you fucking pirates. I don’t have all day.

I have all day

Hey, my schedule this semester? Four-day weekend! How great is that. The answer is: pretty great. Sure, it means my Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday classes are pretty packed together, and I’m stuck taking some stupid Canadian History and poetry classes, but at least I can finally say that my weekend is longer than my week. I’ve finally achieved one of my five life goals. The other goals all involve naked tetherball and/or diving into a giant pool of money so those I’m still working on.

Trendwhore

Hey, I got an iPod for Christmas. It can hold 20 GB (gigabytes) and is white and I think I need some sort of case for it. What kind of case should I get? Please advise.

Other things I got for Christmas!

• Games: Metroid Prime 2, Mario Power Tennis (awesome multiplayer) and Prince of Persia 2. I haven’t played Metroid or Prince of Persia yet really as I’ve spent all my time beating PAPER MARIO which is probably my game of the year.
• DVDs: Dead Like Me: Season One, 24: Season Three, Dr. Strangelove, Seasons One and Two of Curb your Enthusiasm, some others I am forgetting because I have too many fucking DVDs.
• Socks! And a hat! And gloves!
• Books: The Fixer and a Cuba Travel Guide because I am soon going to Cuba! Because I love sun! And propping up socialist dictators! That last part is DOUBLY funny considering Castro is LITERALLY propped up these days.
• A set of barbecue tools like tongs and a brush and stuff. I have no real idea why as I have no barbecue (I live in a BASEMENT!) but they are pretty nice and they came with a cool case that makes me look like a badass.
• Some cash money

Trendwhore, Part Two

I really like Texas Hold’Em. I started playing on New Years Eve because, well, I was tired of playing darts. And I was pretty good for some reason I can’t fathom. And now I can’t stop playing! I even have some sort of iPoker game on my iBook. And I am bringing poker chips back to Halifax so be prepared, kids, we are going to have Poker Nights. We will drink and play and maybe wear those cool visors and sometimes we will pretend we’re in the opening credits of Roseanne. It will be awesome.

Fired from Sports-Den

I think I was fired from Sports-Den because I didn’t write anything for the year in review deal they did. I tried to write something but realized I don’t know anything about sports or music. Here is a rough draft of my TOP TEN SONGS of 2004!

• Some song by Franz Ferdinand! because 2004 Top 10 lists
  HAVE to include them for some reason..
• I guess something by the Arcade Fire
• Blink 182 - I miss you
• David Bowie - Life on Mars?
• The themesong from Smallville
• Mr. Jones
• Total Eclipse of the Heart
• Common People - William Shatner
• Some other stuff I guess

How many was that?

Reasons to Believe

Hey I just thought of an idea for next week. Maybe it WILL be spectacular after all! Stay tuned!

I’m 21-years-old and I still don’t know which key it is,
Matt