TBT #56: Help I have done it again

Dear GraphicMatt,

I have very little to say to you these days. It’s not that things aren’t happening, because, surprisingly, they are. The future has hit me like a moose on the highway and sent my car (it’s a metaphoric car as I could not afford car insurance) careening off towards rivers and mountains and other such empty symbolism. But I don’t know where I am going exactly. I don’t even know where I want to go, honestly. But there are forces — like mooses — pushing me this way and that way. I just want a minute, or a second, or an instant, to sit still, to think, to see everything ahead of me. Then I’d have something to say, graphicmatt. Then I’d have something to say to you.

Wouldn’t that be something special? A good thing? One of the best things, I think. It’s August 29, 2005.

Bringing things back in a big way
Oh no, you’re thinking, this update is full of ANGST. And you would be right. I tried — I really tried — to come up with something entirely upbeat this week, but it just wouldn’t happen. Last week was the same way, but I managed to scrape together a bit of fiction about the My Pet Monster cartoon and spare you my melancholy. But this week, there is no escape. I am Matt and Matt is emo.

But I am going to try the bury the sad parts. Keep them hidden as long as possible. I have had great success with suppressing my emotions, and only moderate success with letting them out. So I am going to take the suppression route from here on out. So be warned, ladies, if I have a crush on you, you probably won’t find out. I will be very secretive about it, and resist any and all urges to hold you close.

Because I am just that emo.

A brightspot
My surpression strategy did allow me to spend a few days watching all 22 season-one episodes of Veronica Mars over the last few days, however. And I have to tell you: that show is awesome. I mean, yes, it is about a high school girl who solves mysteries with her detective father. And yes, it had guest stars like Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Harry Hamlin and (horror) Paris Hilton. But, trust me — and the zillion other people saying exactly the same thing –: the show is great. Like, “best show of 2004″-level great.

And, sure, some of it might be because Kristen Ball is probably the hottest blonde girl I know and some of it might be because, really, it’s pretty funny at times, but mostly I love it because here’s a show that featured a long-running mystery and actually managed a sensical, timely and logical reveal. Really, they told you everything by the end of the first season! They didn’t just ASK MORE QUESTIONS; they gave us answers! The writers of LOST (and their season-ending “the hatch is open! There is a ladder inside!” reveal) should take some damn notes.

Watch the show.

A long time ago, we used to be friends
I have recurring dreams where my friends start smoking. They are some of the worst dreams I have ever had. And it’s not that I REALLY dislike people who smoke — though, sometimes, I can’t help myself because they give me headaches — but more because here are my friends, lighting cigarettes. And that’s not what they do. That’s not how I know them. It’s change and it scares the hell out of me.

In the dream, I am at a party. I’m seeing people, including friends, that I have not seen in a while. And then I see one of my best friends, and they’re off in a corner, talking to someone I don’t know. And I move over to say hello and, hey, they’re smoking. And I am shocked and (a little) dismayed. Because, like I said, it’s a change. I’m not angry or anything. In fact, I still want to talk to the friend.

So I go over and stand near my smoking friend and wait for the to notice me or for a pause in their conversation. It never comes. And then I wake up.

Hurt myself again today
Sorry, I am drifting in and out of terrible angst. A lot of this might just be because I have literally been unable to do anything for almost two weeks now. My daily activities include:

• Sleeping past noon.
• Watching Home Improvement (After watching him getting the shit kicked out of him on Veronica Mars, I can’t get enough JTT), Drew Carey Show (This show sucks) and Seinfeld (This show is still great!).
• Eating cookies
• Reading random articles on Wikipedia

And maybe some miscellaneous other things! I can’t really remember. But the point remains: I am so bored. And it is not even the kind of bored that can be alleviated by talking to someone because I have nothing to say!

I have, however, been watching some other TV shows and I may in fact have some thoughts of them.

• I wrote some about the series finale of Six Feet Under on the TV review section, but I feel the finale deserves more exposure. There have been very few series finales that have really worked for me. For whatever reason, most of them come off as unsatisfying, overhyped and just plain unsatisfying. Six Feet Under, however, took what has been, for the most part, a very very good series and gave it a conclusion that totally worked. Not only was it satisfying, it was downright beautiful, capped off with perhaps the best montage in television history. If you’ve been avoiding this show for whatever reason, I highly recommend you give it a look. Aside from some stumbling mid-season 4 (and some slow episodes in Season 3), I can confidently say that the series never took a wrong turn. A greater artistic achievement than the vast majority of films that have been released in the past decade. And I liked the last decade.
• Ricky Gervais’ Extras is not as good as The Office. It is not even close to as good as The Office. It’s also not anywhere near as funny as The Larry Sanders Show. But, once you get past that initial disappointment, it is definitely worth watching. I find the celebrity-focus means that the episodes live and die by the viewer’s familiarity with the guest star. So the Kate Winslet episode? Raucously funny. The episode with the guy who hosted the British version of Family Feud? Not as good. The series, played as a straight sitcom, really lacks much of the innovation, not to mention depth of character, The Office brought to the table. But, standing on its own, this is perfectly good TV.
• I watched the first two episodes of Prison Break last night for some reason. It is kind of ridiculous, which is not a good way for action shows to start off. At least 24 had the decency to be realistic for 12 or so episodes before it went off in ridiculous directions. Prison Break doesn’t even give us that. It’s just like “Hey, check it out, he’s helping the warden build the Taj Mahal out of popsicle sticks so they don’t put him in the hole and also he has made some origami so he can control the mob.”

An Open Question
I have been thinking lately that perhaps there is no such thing as a static relationship — and by relationship I mean friendship, or further — and that you are either growing closer with someone, or drifting away. Are these the thoughts of a lonely emo kid listening to piano music, or is there truth in it? Are we almost destined to lose some of the people we care about, simply due to time and distance and growing up?And is there a way to stop it.

I know this is a disjointed letter. Forgive me, graphicmatt, as all I have is thoughts on TV and angst. I know you deserve better, and I hope you’ll be here next week for me. I promise to give you something more meaningful, more whole. More you.

Love always,
Matt