TBT #68: Frazzled, Bedazzled

I do not want to write anything. I hate the idea of sitting down and writing anything. I have written tens of thousands of words this month, including just about 10,000 words of academic essays this week alone. That is TOO MANY WORDS. I cannot keep adding words to this! Already I am looking at these words I have written in this box and I am PISSED OFF. These are words I could have used towards the novel, or one of the four take-home exams I have to write in the next couple of weeks. I need to stop wasting words. I still have 15,000 words left in the novel, and only like five days left in the month! And yet here I am, writing this. And I want to write something good! I want to write you a wonderful story that will make you cry and reflect on your life and hug your mother. But that probably will not happen today, will it? It seems unlikely, anyway. That would require not only WORDS but thoughtful, planned out, and edited words and I just do not have that kind of time to devote to all of you.

So instead, you know what I am going to do? I am going to do a random thoughts update. I am doing a random thoughts update and you will read it and you will enjoy it and you will leave a comment saying something about how insightful you found my thoughts and how you really feel like you learned something from them. And if you do not do this than you are dead to me.

DEAD TO ME.

RENT

I saw this movie called RENT the other day and I have to tell you, I do not get it. I am not really a fan of the musical, though I hope to change that when I go see Movin’ Out in December, but I always thought Rent would appeal to me as it is about struggling artists and free spirits and challenging the status quo. And I am an artist! And a free-spirit! And a challenge the status quo! But, still, I do not get it. I don’t understand what it means. Maybe I am not Bohemian after all.

Okay, so, like, the film kind of sucked. Which is not surprising because it is Chris Columbus and he’s not so much a director as much as he is a giant jerk who thinks his viewers are all morons. That shot in Rent where he shoots a sign saying “BUS STATION” and then pans away to the bus and then back to the sign saying “BUS STATION”? Totally unnecessary. I knew it was a bus station because there was a bus there! That is all that was required. And I won’t even go into his use of slow-motion, flashback montages and that entire fucking scene where the Roger character dances in the Arizona desert atop a mountain. All of that was absolutely awful but did not come as a shock to me; this is the director who made the first two Harry Potter books seem boring, after all. And I imagine if you were a fan of the play none of it would really bother you that much.

But I do not understand the play. Maybe I was ruined by the Team America parody, but it was true. Everyone DOES have AIDS! It is almost like AIDS is the glue that holds them all together. Roger is concerned about entering into a relationship with Mimi until, oh, he finds out she has AIDS. And then all barriers disappear! And then they break up because she can’t get off the horse (by which I mean heroin) so she goes with Taye Diggs — and does HE have AIDS? It is not very clear! You can call me prejudiced if you want to, but I do not think I would see a heroin junkie stripper with AIDS as an ideal candidate for an extramarital affair, even if she is Rosario Dawson — but then Roger leaves the state and sings angrily in his car only to sell the car and buy a guitar and take the bus home.

While this is all happening Mark is filming a documentary that is apparently amazing — amazing enough for Sarah Silverman to give him lots of money — but when we see it is just random shots of his friends hanging out and also some homeless people. That is not good filmmaking, MARK. And there are support groups and death and lesbians in the movie, too. And then finally Roger shows up again and they find Mimi who is dying but doesn’t want to go to a hospital because that wouldn’t be BOHEMIAN or something. But she is saved through the power of Roger’s song, parts of which are just a retread of the song he and Mimi sang earlier! If she’s your true love, write her an original song, god dammit.

Despite all of this, though, the film is sticking with me. The songs are kind of catchy even if they barely even rhyme. It’s just sing-talking, a lot of it. I could write that. Maybe one day I will. Except in my version of RENT everyone will die in the end due to a meteor and then afterwards they will all stand up and sing “METEOR!” followed by “No Day But Today” and then “METEOR (Reprise).”

All Apologies

I hope no one is mad at me for the plot spoilers above. I sort of assumed everyone knew most of the plot to RENT but maybe some people do not. I actually didn’t, before I saw the movie, so I suppose I may have ruined it for some of you. I am sorry if this is the case and promise I will let you spoil a movie for me in return.

Five Word Movie Reviews for Autumn 2005

Here we go:

• Proof: Song About i? Awesome Film
• Thumbsucker: Far too Indie? Not great.
• Elizabethtown: Crowe is now a douchebag.
• Shopgirl: Jason Schwartzman’s best role ever.
• Goodnight and Good Luck: Best film of 2005? Maybe.
• Walk the Line: Reese Witherspoon is unbelievably cute.
• Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: Not as good as Azkaban.
• Rent: See Above For My Comments

And now for the grand finale

Hey, I meant to post this closer to Halloween, but it is still worth reading. Some of you may have seen it before, but if not please check out The Story of Dionea House. It’s a neat example of making use of the internet as a storytelling medium. I wish I was that creative! The only story idea I have right now is one wherein a guy quits his job and devotes his life to counting the change in his room. It is called “The Best Job I Ever Had” and it might be next week’s TBT!

But not this week’s TBT. This week’s TBT is filler.

Matt