This is something positive! Like carnivals with cotton candy served not with contempt but with colloquial capriciousness, it’s all conveniently characteristic of something positive. That’s the way the world is today, True Believer, as Foreverman has finally defeated evil! That’s right, the villains have all been vanquished thanks to the vastitude of our valiant hero, [...]
Courtney slouches in her chair, drinks coffee from a styrofoam cup in short sips, peering through wide-rimmed glasses at three words on her computer screen. She works in a tiny office with stark white walls and deep blue carpet that feels like fuzzy concrete. She doesn’t decorate much, her desk is covered in papers and [...]
I was driving home today and a song came on the radio and I liked it and so I drove around the block four times until it was over. Only then did I pull into my driveway. It was the sort of thing that seemed like the perfect metaphor for a good year: driving, good [...]
It’s about time for The Best Things to come to an end. Clearly the writer lacks motivation, what with his newly-found bizarre dedication to nine-day-long weeks and meandering stories typed out between the Seinfeld rerun at 9 p.m. and the other Seinfeld rerun at 9:30 p.m. I’ve long planned to stop doing this at the [...]