The ending thing is interesting, as it’s very rare these days to find short fiction that includes a substantial conclusion. The idea, I think, is to stop almost immediately after the climax, leaving plot clean-up to the reader’s imagination. That’s not to say I have to write like Adrian Tomine, though, and I think there’s a balance to be found there.

I’m liking these comments. I’m always a bit nervous when I veer off towards a new style. This piece took longer to write than my normal stuff as it was really hard to come up different alliterative adjectives to describe Foreverman all the damn time. I also worried that perhaps it was a bit too thinly-vieled and would not be able to stand on its own.

As for Second Earth needing a hero, I don’t think there’s question that everybody needs a hero at some point in their lives, but for Foreverman to assume that it has to be HIM is… dickish. He’s a dick.

Was Foreverman WRONG in thinking that this Second Earth needed a hero as well?

I have my own thoughts on the question, but I wanna hear what others have to say first.

I’m sorry, I know it’s not my place to just say “Wow”, but that was seriously the first word that popped into my mind when I read this. And now to think about WHY I reacted that way.

It’s the style you’ve written this in: so very hyperbolic-Action-Comics-esque. It does exactly what old-time comic book text would do: condense things into the over-dramatic; it simplifies things to the point where they’re so easy to read, even the POINT would get oversimplified.

And that’s the COOL part about this write-up, because the point at the end — Foreverman’s ultimate defeat — IS simple. It didn’t take alien glowing rocks, or even the sun, to break Foreverman. All it took was his own… fallacies, is a good word for it.

Oh, the other thing about this piece — and I think this is the more important reason as to why this story works so well for me: IT HAS AN ENDING. Seriously, Matt. You need to put endings to your stories more often. Something to work on.

While there may be similarities between the two characters, I stress that they should be viewed as coincidental and I hope Mr. OREVERMAN is not compelled to lodge another complaint.

Thanks for reading!