TBT #80: West Coast Photojournal

I’m fairly certain I’m further to the west right now than you are. I mean, I guess you could be in Hawaii or floating on a buoy in the middle of the Pacific, but in either case I doubt very much that you would have internet access. So me, being in Vancouver, British Columbia — I’m very west. I flew here from Halifax, Nova Scotia, which is very east. On the plane I saw below me all of Canada, and I was utterly impressed with the majesty of its ridiculous flatness. Seriously, I think the architects behind Canada sort of gave up once they came into Manitoba. It’s like in Sim City 2000 where you COULD use the terrain editor to give yourself a lot of rolling hills and mountains to build your city on — but that’s hard — or you could just make everything perfectly flat and not have to worry. Everything between Ontario and the rockies is just like that: flat, so no one has to worry.

The following is a Photojournal. It documents how I spent this past Tuesday. What, exactly, is a Photojournal you might wonder. Here is a bulleted list to explain!

• A Photojournal is a series of 12 pictures documenting a day’s events
• A Photojournal is not a bunch of random pictures taken at various hilarious moments such as that time your friend Billy stuck a pecan up his nose.
• A Photojournal begins with a photo taken at the point when you “start” your day, which essentially means when you leave your house, because pictures of you hanging out in your underwear in front of your computer reading Hello Kitty slash fiction is hardly appropriate for the internet.
• Once you’ve taken the first photo, you must take another photo exactly — or as close to exactly as you can get — one hour after it. You do this 11 times in all after your first photo, always at around the exact same time, regardless of what you are doing. I realize this may mean pictures of the inside of an elevator or you peeing. This is the risk you take with the Photojournal.
• In addition to the 12 Photojournal pictures, you should also take a self-portrait, just for the hell of it.
• Photojournal must always be bold because Photojournal is bold.

The grand idea behind this is to have a bunch of people post Photojournals on their livejournal/blog/website/myspace/facebook/adult-friend-finder on a pre-determined day. It is, I think, an idea that will bring people together, giving people a glimpse into the lives of friends, acquaintances, strangers and maybe even hot chicks. You’re under no obligation to make your own Photojournal but, if you do, I will link to it along with anyone else who joins me in this mad fool quest.

The first International Photojournal Day is set for March 16, 2006. On that day, please make a Photojournal like the one below or I will come to your house and mess you up. Mess you up hardcore.

Tuesday, February 21 Photojournal
I started late with this one because my decision to do it was, in fact, entirely spur of the moment. My first picture was not taken until 2 p.m. when, as Pearle and I were leaving, I reached for my camera and said “Hey, let’s do a Photojournal today.” I then took a picture of her making the bed.

2 p.m.

She was caught off guard. You can click all of these pictures for a bigger version.

3 p.m.

Our first stop of the day was the aquarium at Stanley Park. I figured this would be a good place for a Photojournal because nothing photographs as well as a giant lumbering sea creature. I actually tried several times to get a shot of this Stellar Sea Lion (That was what the tour guide called it. I am not sure if “Stellar” is a type of Sea Lion or just a really nice adjective; these sea lions were more stellar than others I have seen) but it was rather difficult as he kept jumping about as if to indicate that he was not, in fact, a lumbering sea creature but rather an in-shape gymnast of the depths.

4 p.m.

This is a Beluga Whale. Now let me pause one second because you are undoubtedly singing that “Baby Beluga” song. Get it out of your head. There you go.

This whale was awesome. We were watching him from the underground viewing window and he kept swimming about past the window, as if he was showing off. Then he started blowing bubbles — like big, beach ball size bubbles — which he’d let drift about for a while before chasing them down and popping them with his nose. I do not see it as hyperbole to state that this was probably the most talented whale I have ever been affiliated with.

5 p.m.

We left the Aquarium after the dolphin show and took the bus back to downtown. Both Pearle and I wanted to buy DVDs. I wanted to get Rent because it is terrible and I hate it and I think the whole world should see it and sing “Out Tonight” with me. (I have very complicated feelings towards Rent.) Pearle wanted to get Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit because she thinks British accents are hilarious. Like that is all it takes for her to laugh: a British accent. It is ridiculous.

As you can see, we accomplished both goals. Thanks HMV!

6 p.m.

At this point I was starving. I had only eaten a small sandwich before we left and so I wanted nothing more than to tear the leg off something and gnaw on it. Thankfully there is a Denny’s right across the street from Pearle’s apartment building, meaning I got to order a giant bowl of hash browns topped with eggs and bacon and sausage and heart disease. And also some side bacon and sausage and pancakes. Plus about fourteen glasses of Diet Coke. Finishing all of this was my Everest.

7 p.m.

We took a little break after getting home, during which I managed to take a pretty nice picture of the city through the window in Pearle’s room. This is the view. We’ve already spent several hours sitting at the kitchen table and watching people through those windows across the way. Creepy and perverted? Sure. Disturbing in a Rear Window sense? Definitely. Fun? More than you know.

8 p.m.

Right before Jeopardy! came on, Pearle decided she really wanted to make a cake. I bought her a bottle of Disaronno the other night, because she had never had it before. She liked it and promptly decided she should use it for baking. And not just cakes — everything. She ran through a whole list of possible uses. Most people don’t think that way about their liquor. She’s a special girl.

This is what the cake looked like in the oven. You can see her grinning like a madwoman in the reflection.

9 p.m.

While we waited for cake, Pearle and I played video games with her roommate Jeff. He just discovered Super Smash Brothers the other day, and has been playing it near constantly since. I won a lot because I use a lot of cheap moves.

10 p.m.

The cake is iced and done! Hooray!

11 p.m.

After eating some cake and generally wasting more time, it was finally time for Rent. Once again I watched the movie. Once again I was utterly disgusted! But Pearle liked it and cried through the last 20 minutes (but don’t tell anybody) so I was glad I got the chance to show it to her. Plus I finally got to see the deleted scenes featuring Halloween and (the rest of) Goodbye Love. Not that I would ever care about anything like that.

12 a.m.

During the movie I stepped out to grab this shot. I was going for some sort of arty through-the-blinds effect, but all the photo really does is demonstrate just how close Pearle’s apartment is to a movie theatre. It’s really close!

1 a.m.

After the movie was over, Pearle fell right to sleep. She’s not as awesome at staying awake as I am. I ended the day browsing around for a while on the internet, wasting a lot of time, until I was tired enough to get to bed.

Self-Portrait

I call this one ‘underwater Matt’ for reasons far too complex to get into here. It’s actually taken in front of the shark tank at the aquarium and, for whatever reason, my camera actually made the whole scene look really really cool. I would like it if, in the future, I could use this picture for all my official identification. You know, for passports and the like. The people working customs would think I was so badass. “Are you too badass for this country?” they would ask. And I would chuckle and look to the sky and say knowingly “Only time will tell, my friend.”

Only time will tell.

So that’s my Photojournal. I hope you will join me for the next one, which will be on March 16. Get your camera ready!

Photogenically,
Matt